SENTI NG TAONG 'DI PA NAKAINOM: "HINDI LANG NAMAN ITO ANG PWEDE KONG GAWIN SA BUHAY KONG ITO!!!" (UNEdited)

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ANG HIRAP, HIRAP NG BUHAY.

I KNOW THERE’S STILL SOMETHING MORE, AND THAT SOMETHING IS STILL ON A PENDING STAGE, JUST WAITING OUTSIDE THOSE WHITE LINES! FOUR YEARS OF COLLEGE, AND A GRADUATE FOUR YEARS PAST AND NOW I’M ON THE I/8^TH WAY UP AWAY FROM THAT MESSY/HAPPY-GO-LUCKY COLLEGE LIFE – THE STAGE OF MY LIFE WHEREIN I SPENT A LOT ON MY SCHOOL REQUIREMENTS, BEERKADAs UNTIL WE DROP, HAVING GIRLFRIENDS ON BOTH SIDES, ABSENCES AND LATES WITHOUT VALID REASONS, ENJOYING LIFE LIKE IT’S THE LAST. I/8^TH WAY UP HEADING TO THAT “SOMETHING MORE”.

“REAL LIFE HANGOVERS”.

“HARD TIME IN MAKING/SEARCHING FOR THAT BULL****  MONEY”.

“LONG TIME SPENT PREPARING THE SAME USUAL THINGS DAY-BY-DAY”.

“UNEXPECTED EVENTS TO ATTEND TO”.

“ALL LAUGH-OUTS, BEER SESSIONS AND G-MIX”.

“SOUND TRIP WITH MY HEADSET SO LOUD”.

“FIVE TO SIX HOURS OF SLEEP”.

“30 MINUTES TO ONE HOUR NAP”.

“FRUSTRATIONS GIVEN”.

“PRESSURES ON DECISION-MAKING”.

“WASTED TIME ON CD-BURNING”

“TRAVELS ON HIGH-SPEED CHASE”.

“ONE TO TWO HOURS OF BED SCENES”.

“TEXT AND UNLIMITED CALLS FOR A LIMITED DURATION”.

“YOU TUBE-ing  AND FACEBOOKing”.

“TIRED OF DEALING WITH WORKMATES HAVING THE SO-CALLED MOOD SWINGS”.

“MUSCLES I USED JUST TO WEAR THOSE SMILES AND FAKE THOSE LAUGHS”.

“TALKING TO MYSELF ABOUT MYSELF TOO”.

“DRINKING AND STEALING WATER IN THE OFFICE”.

“THE SMELL OF THE BLUE INK FROM MY PEN”.

“THE COMPLAINING CHAIRS THAT I USE EVERYDAY”.

“PORN SITES AND PORNOS IN MY PHONE MEMORY”.

“BANK SAVINGS, SSS AND PHILHEALTH PREMIUMS ON MY PHONE REMINDERS”.

“MOVIE MARATHONS”.

“EATING PAKBET AND STREET FOODS AT THE TOLDAHAN”.

“MY PIGGY BANK THAT’S NOT OPEN FOR MY EMERGENCY LENDINGS”.

“BEING THE STATION’S FACEBOOK AT UStream ADMININSTRATOR”.

“AND MY RECYCLED DREAMS”.

AND THE CYCLE WILL ROLL AGAIN. JUST THE SAME.  AND THE SAME AGAIN. AND BACK AGAIN. (WHAT A SIGH!!) I TEND TO BE SO IRRITATED. I TEND TO BE SO DISGUSTED. I AM TIRED OF THINKING WHAT’S TO COME. I ALWAYS WANTED THAT SOMEDAY, SOMEHOW, LUCK WILL KNOCK ON MY DOOR AND UPON OPENING MY WAY, IT WILL FOLLOW ME. PERSONALLY, I AM NOT INTO THIS “FENG SHUI BELIEFS ABOUT LUCK AND CHARMS”. I AM ALSO NOT INTO THE “COMPATIBILITIES OF YEARS”.  AND AT THE END OF THIS ALL, I AM BELIEVING “NONE”!  (FAITH TO OUR ALMIGHTY IS “NOT” WHAT I AM PERTAINING TO).

I CITE THINGS WHICH I USUALLY DO AND HONESTLY, THIS IS NOT WHAT I AM THINKING ABOUT MY FUTURE BACK ON MY COLLEGE DAYS.  DOING THINGS THE SAME WITH YESTERDAYS ARE VERY VERY ANNOYING!!!

I NEED SOMETHING MORE.

I NEED TO FIND SOMETHING MORE.

I NEED TO DISCOVER WHERE I CAN FIND THAT SOMETHING MORE.

I NEED TO TRUST MYSELF FOR ME TO DISCOVER THAT SOMETHING MORE.

DON’T KNOW WHEN. DON’T KNOW WHERE. DON’T KNOW HOW. BUT I KNOW WHY! – AND THAT’S FOR SURE.

AND MAYBE, IT’S ONLY A METER AWAY.